A - Actually pretty good. Wow, Cena has been tearing it up. I found his opening speech promo, especially his faith. Viewers do not see enough this side of Cena. I got pretty pumped when he told Del Rio went to defeat him. What? I'm not like Cena? He does a good job!
B - But ... He can not be great for long. Good point, Punk, Cena to Del Rio to dismiss the fact that many cars? He has literally 10,000 cars. This is where I start to hate Cena. He contradicts itself a lot. His underdog status does not work when we see him in movies and on TV. Cena is too big an underdog. Punk nailed that their money in the bank match and I really think WWE should run with it. You do not need to turn him heel, but his character grow. Him and his character are now rich stars, play in that.
C - Come on. Because they are on TV for 15 years, Triple H seems to have forgotten that stripe shirt - especially brightly colored ones that look like they were stolen by Billy Dee Williams - the tendency to confuse cameras. Smart.
D - Do not. Not a bad opening segment, but I do not like punk mixed up with Cena-Del Rio. I understand that he wants a re-match if he looks stupid, but I really prefer the idea of him and Cena with different stories. Keeping these two far apart for now is good for business.
E - Whether it's from Bizarro World. Terrible sign Part 46: I love the boy who "Canada hates the lady" sign on its head. I would imagine that he keeps his head so his dad can read it while doing crazy Jack Lalanne training.
F - For real. NAFTA was in full effect this week! An American versus Mexican in Canada? Ah, free trade. I'm just afraid Zack Ryder will come and Canada will decide to build a fence ...
G - Grade B. It would have been better. I thought the stories were strong, though, and the races were at least semi-entertaining. It was better than the green ketchup, but not as good as doing a Louie Armstrong impression when you order pizza. "I want to p-p-pep-per-ronnniii yeeahhhh."
H - Hold on! I figured it out! Morrison was the fake Sin Cara - that was a tilt-a-whirl botch for centuries. Speaking of the fake Sin Cara, I really hope this does not become the new fake Undertaker, you know, everyone always asks, "Hey, you know there is a fake Undertaker?" Yes, yes I did. Did you know that I want to punch you?
I - I liked it. Del Rio vs. Morrison was good enough. I've enjoyed, but I do not understand why the WWE champion struggled to guys under him - especially in such close races. Give him a squash, close all these games are doing is cheapening his government and the title. Since when does the WWE champion to open the show in a non-title match? Oh yeah, since the decade began. We need for this purpose.
J - I wondered: Why did it take a heel turn for Natalya and Beth to dress nice? Should not the opposite? Do not get me wrong, I think the WWE Divas have a story, but they go about this all wrong. Beth and Natalya are far too broad for this story heel and, again, Natalya laughs as if she just a piece of candy. Let them dominant faces, you know, like Kharma.
K - Killing me. Nash seems grandfather of one. Can he at least try? Enjoy fishing, Kev? How is that "Greatest Grandpa World's" mug? Did you buy a new hard candy for those boring old dish or are you just the same 6-year-old candy to leave out?
L - Let's keep the criticism clothes with Vickie. Horrible shirt, Vickie. It looks like a bird hit a glass window and slid over her shirt. I hope she wears the outfit on purpose to get heat.
M - My favorite wrestler is super secret Jack Swagger. There, I said it. And, as I Swagger goes the story, but I do not like the inevitable rubber match next week against A-Ry. A-Ry was one of my favorite up-and-comers to annoying me. He makes no effort to get the fans into the game. He is a terrible sight. He also looks for bootable punch a good guy.
N - No idea. Triple H does not know what he wants. Sometimes he is the no-nonsense, badass ex-wrestler and sometimes he is diplomatic, COO. I'm confused. I like the bit about Nash not being an employee, but let them really thought this through. And, nice entry for Tim Horton's (my mother manages a). I do not know what to say about Punk not already been said here. He is close to the best promo in wrestling today.
Oh - Oh, stop it, boy, Evan Bourne should be nine times tables ready for the race. Kofi tried to trick him with the finger all night, it's just not sinking in, poor child.
P - Praise. Again, I can not lie, I love Otungacutty. They swagger. I would like to join them Vickie's stable. They have a ten times better since he champs. They move with purpose and attitude now. Take notes, Alex Riley, that's how the audience involved. They get a lot of unwarranted hatred. Yes, they were kind of bad at first, but these guys have. I'm on the bandwagon. I think the tag division is really healthy. The announcers seemed to have really put on a new era in tag wrestling. Hopefully Otungacutty can actually stay together and run.
Q - Quotes. Because I do not hope tons of praise for C.M. Punk this week, here is the all-C.M. Punk edition of "Quotes".
Punk: "Maybe it was Stephanie McMahon, I do not know ... ... with a candlestick in the library or something." I love the fact that even the ridiculousness of what he said he realized.
Punk (until Cena), "Have you not 10,000 cars?" Thanks for having my back, buddy. Yes, in my imaginary world, I Punk and his cronies. We get along with Cody Rhodes and read the comics while listening to Rancid. Let me have!
R - Really? Yes, I could not help. I had to think of names for Bourne and Kofi, and luckily my wonderful Twitter followers agreed. The following are our suggested name (a name without a Twitter handle is one that I thought): Air Africa (A lot of people mentioned this one, but the first time I saw it was mentioned by @ wrestleDena) Chocolate Milk (@ FozzieMB), Bourne High (come onnn, it's great), Bedtime, 2 +2 = 5, Jamocha (@ nutsocharles), Step Brothers Of Destruction (@ nutsocharles), World's (10th) Greatest Tag Team (@ LTS55), and How High (@ Bandages).
S - Super fantastic, uber awesome magician. That's Miz and Truth. Unbelievable. Miz truth and just a clinic. Every young wrestler in the back had to take notes during that segment. That was exactly how a crowd in a frenzy. Both just grabbed the brass ring and pulled it down. This should be the next team to go after the Tag Titles are. I'm 100 percent on board with them to take on the Bourne / Kofi. And then rap? Even better. I'm totally taking credit for that by the way, as I said last week that the truth needs to be a new heel rap. "You suck! You suck! Now that's what's on! "Miz and Truth are my new favorite tag team.
T - Template. In fact, I think, the new template. Let boys with obvious talent out of them himself. Miz promo and truth are trained artists. Everything they needed was a chance. So many wrestlers could benefit. Hell, let Otungacutty some mic time. I think Punk has shown that mic time can have a significant impact on your career as are used correctly.
U - Ultimately, Canada is the only real winner tonight, throwing Cena's shirt back was such a nice touch and a perfect microcosm of Cena's career: a part of the public is tired of Cena thrown at them. That audience is rejecting him more and more. It would be wise for the WWE to take note. I am a bit disappointed that did not happen in Chicago though - that's a kind of gimmick's the Cubs - but, uh.
V - Very awesome. I always like seeing the guys with the title belt into the crowd. Why? What does that even mean? Are you proclaim to be a champion? From what? Wasting money? Do you want people to know that you paid $ 200 for a band you will regret it in three months? It would suck to drag around that and you know it should smell. It smells like stale beer and probably chair farts.
W - Well, the main event was a good game, but felt a bit rushed due to time constraints. The pace was furious, but maybe that was by design. I felt that not enough going on sale. Still, though, made a good match in their great series. Punk and Cena are the definition of working well together. And I was like, I'm sure everyone else saw it swerve out with Nash. It was very nice, though. I like things out of hand Triple H being. When the man who is supposed to look over everything can not even protect Cena and Punk, then who will? Chaos is the name of the game here and I like it. Still, the cliffhanger of the week was not as exciting as last week, but it was effective. I'm still addicted to now.
X - Xylophone.
Y - You know you watch too much when Raw: All DVD ads blend together into one big, craptastic DVD. The very fact that "OMG" is written on a WWE DVD worry me. What's next? "LMAO: The Funniest Moments in WWE History" By the way, I realize that this section an insane amount of capital, and that I am truly sorry.
Z - Zero: The number of people who wanted to go to another car-angle view. Really? A car accident? I feel like we match closer and closer to exploding limo territory. The percentage of Canadian wrestling fans who do not drink alcohol. And, finally, Zack Ryder, the number of appearances this week if you have champagne celebration not participate in the new tag champs. His presence would have soured US / Canadian diplomatic relations for the coming year.
As always, please e-mail me or tweet c_cress08@yahoo.com / follow me (especially the latter) at charles @ cress. I usually live-tweet during the shows and a few practical jokes in my columns, so get that. And, make sure my writing on themidnightsnack.net. You get entered in a contest to win free stuff just by commenting. And ... uh ... I'm ready to whore myself for them now. Pimp my watch. I am on my way, Dirty Daddy Biscuit! Weird name, long story.
